Settle down kids. Today we are going to start reading Nineteen Eighty-Four by the English writer George Orwell. Well, some of you will be reading it. If your parents have been recently fired it will help you understand why you are now justifiably in dire straits trying to survive in the current economy. For those of you with parents still employed; if you'd rather spend the time taking notes about your parents' daily activities and sending reports to the school board then you will be excused from reading this boring novel and all other homework.

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